8.29.2006 It looks like we'll be going on a college tour soon. Oh man am I excited. I am going to trick so many college girls into falling in love with me so I don't have to sleep in the van.
(College girls of the future: if fooled around with me, let me sleep in your bed, fell madly in love with me, and then read through my archives only to find out that our seemingly romantic evening was a plan I devised months ago to avoid sleeping in a minivan, I am really, really sorry. Suckas!)
5:22 PM
8.28.2006
Anyone got me beat on Gmail usage? (How many competitions do I really need to have at once?)
1. My experience of the National Scrabble Championships. 2. How one night, on a New York City street, I had all of my money taken from me. 3. My recent and shocking discovery of the size of Brendan Sullivan's world.
(The third story is so good, that when I told it to Brendan, who was floored, I made him promise that he had to let me write about it before he did. Greedy, I know, considering it's about his life, but it's such a great story--and in the small world Brendan and I occupy, stories are a high form of currency.)
8:05 PM
I woke up this morning in a panic from a dream in which I was peeing. There are few scarier dreams.
10:06 AM
8.26.2006 If you have ten minutes to spare read Wikipedia's fantastic entry for Back to the Future (one of my absolute favorite movies). For instance, who knew that at one point the time machine was a refrigerator? Or what about the fact that the part of Marty McFly was originally played by Eric Stoltz?
A few of my favorite bits of trivia are:
- Michael J. Fox is only ten days younger than Lea Thompson, the actress who plays his mother, and is almost three years older than his on-screen dad, Crispin Glover.
- The mall where Marty McFly meets Doc Brown for their time travel experiment is called "Twin Pines Mall". Doc Brown comments that old farmer Peabody used to own all of the land, and he grew pines there. When Marty goes back in time, he knocks down a pine tree on the Peabody's property. When he comes back to the mall at the end of the film, the sign at the mall identifies the mall as "Lone Pine Mall."
- Michael J. Fox would spend his days rehearsing and shooting Family Ties, and then drive immediately over to the movie's set and film Back to The Future all night. The movie's day shots would be filmed on weekends. Fox reportedly averaged only an hour or two of sleep each night during production.
6:07 PM
8.25.2006 Courtesy of Pitchfork and their Chicago-based music festival, it's time for another game of Where's Benno?
I was actually featured twice in Pitchfork's photo recap of the festival, but the second photo (while more indicative of how I spent my time at the festival) isn't quite as well suited for the aforementioned game.
10:24 PM
8.23.2006 I think I can remember every major crush I've ever had, beginning in preschool. If I had any crushes before the age of four, I don't remember them--with the possible exception of a crush I had on my cousin Molly, which I'm including as an exception because I can't remember the exact age of that sordid period of my life (it wasn't recently).
At home, my parents have an extensive collection of photo albums, with at least one heavy volume documenting each of the past twenty-five years. It's an amazing collection of photographic memories--rivaled only by my own--but I cringe to think of how many trips one would need to make into their burning house to rescue them all.
Anyways, I was at my parents' house a few months ago, flipping through their photo albums looking for pictures of myself as a child that would make attractive girls go "awww," when I stumbled upon a photo of my preschool class. In the picture, my classmates and I are all assembled in front of the teacher, sitting peacefully while she reads to us--and there I am, in the front row, as happy as a clam, smiling with the knowledge that my gorgeous golden hair would guarantee me a life of luxury and ease. More provocative, though, was the blond haired girl in red overalls seated next to me.
As soon as I looked at the photo, my eyes immediately leapt to her, and I felt a wave of old emotions wash over me. She was the first girl I had ever had a crush on, and some of my earliest memories are of the things that I would do to impress her (swing the highest on the swings, perform elaborate, dramatic shows). Ironically, it was my efforts that would later cause our separation (the following year I was held back from entering kindergarten because my teachers felt that my hanging out with the girls was an indicator of my social immaturity). It was an inexpressable love--because I didn't know many words yet--but she was the first girl who had ever occupied my mind completely.
I was standing in my parents' living room several months ago, bent over an old photo album and consumed by indescribable romantic emotions from twenty years ago, when I stepped outside myself and asked: "Wait, am I really getting worked up over a picture of a four-year old?"
4:30 PM
8.22.2006 Below are the 42 contestants of this year's YLTLSWC. I'm going to remake my site in the next couple weeks to include a sidebar listing everyone--but until I get around to that, this list will do.
This video was filmed in front of a green screen in my dining room (that's right, our sweet new apartment has a dining room), and then it took me the better part of a week to edit it together.
I just posted successfully using my cell phone. I'm sure there'll be a lot of that in the coming months.
2:00 PM
8.19.2006 While I have everyone's attention, here's an interesting moral dilemma I came up with a while back. It's definitely less visceral than the puppy dilemma, but I've still been pretty surprised with the answers I've received.
Part 1: If you could be free of all of your problems by giving them away (to a random person in the world), would you do so? The consequences would be that you would be carefree, but another person--somewhere--would have your problems on top of their own.
Part 2: If you could be give your problems away (to a random person in the world), but could only do so in such a way that two people would receive your problems (fully, in the same equal proportion), would you do so? Again, you personally will be free from concerns, but a greater amount of negativity will be introduced to the world.
Part 3: If you could give your problems away (to a random person in the world), but in choosing to do so, grant 10% of the world the option in Part 1 (creating the <10% possibility that you could receive the problems of another random person), would you do it?
Just leave your name and URL in the comments field and you'll be added to the list of contestants!
6:29 PM
8.14.2006 As those of you who have known me for three days know, I recently made the unreasonably idealistic declaration that I would (attempt to) post something new, every single day, for the remaining five months of the year. On a scale from one to ten, this goal is simply unreasonable. However, like many other bold statements I have made in my lifetime, I will take this challenge, however inconsequential, as seriously as I take anything else (until a week from now, when I fail--just like I did last time). Ready for a challenge?
The rules are as follows: 1. Any sort of new content constitutes a post. This includes the posting of photographs, drawings, music, videos--whatever. A post is a post. 2. There is no minimum length for a post. Even a single sentence constitutes a satisfactory post. And if you're really lame, even a word counts. 3. Contestants must post every day. This is relative to the poster's timezone, and measured by their 24-hour timestamp. I know it's easy to forge timestamps--you're on the honor system, please don't cheat. 4. If a contestant can't access a computer, they can elect a substitute to post for them. The substitute can be another contestant, and can post for as many days as necessary. 5. Each contestant gets one "mulligan," meaning that everyone is entitled to one re-do.
The contest begins August 21st at 12:01am, after which no new entries will be accepted. Who's in?
8.13.2006 I heard this song at a roof party earlier tonight. It's beautiful, isn't it? I didn't want to go to sleep until I tracked it down. No one at the party knew who the singer was, I was worried I'd never find out. I've listened to it eight times in a row.
8.12.2006 A little promotion, before I forget--I'm going to have a cameo in tonight's Cleanest River show at the PIT, come check it out! All they've told me is that I have to sing, which is one of my least favorite public activities. Fun!
EDIT: This turned out to be a really fun, really funny show. Thanks to everyone who came out!
4:22 PM
Brendan is upping the ante in a way I can't possibly match. I'm going to have trouble enough writing my own daily posts (in addition to my already strenuous daily video podcast). It should be noted, however, that while Brendan is promising to write even more than is demanded by the contest, he lasted about four days in the last contest (whereas I lasted a whole nine days).
If you're interested in joining our daily posting challenge, say so in the comments. I'm going to post a cutoff date later today.
8.10.2006 Check out OldeEnglish.org for new sketches every day!
As you may or may not know, my comedy group Olde English has been posting a new sketch nearly every day for over a month now. The idea was that we'd take a break from our jobs and work nine to five on comedy. The reality, however, is that in order to write and shoot and edit so many sketches with such a small production crew (four people doing all the writing, shooting, and editing), we end up working until late at night most nights. I don't mean to complain--this is what I want to do and it's been great producing so much new material (a lot of which is quite good)--but it hasn't exactly left me a lot of time for eating, sleeping, any and all forms of recreation--let alone blogging.
2:49 PM
